The power of company

Things have been a bit Bad Brain recently… I’m going to chat through some medication options including going back to a previous mood stabiliser (better the devil you know) with my GP hopefully on Monday. There’s mood stabilisation and then there’s being zonked until you feel as flat as a pancake that’s been driven over by a steamroller!

So it was a bit touch and go whether we would get away to South Devon this weekend to visit friends. I’m really glad that I’m beginning to learn from previous Bad Brain periods that avoiding social contact can feel comfy but is really detrimental.  The weekend was brilliant, just what we all needed.  A glass or two of a zingy Marlborough, and friends who we could be really honest with.  Four fantastic girls for our two to play with, a garden stacked with a trampoline, flying fox, rope swings and a bonfire.  A couple of miles run in the morning in a wooded glade.  Eldest had a swim in the sea in her new wetsuit, and we picnicked on a shingle beach – who cares if it’s grey and windy!  There is power in company, the beauty of nature and life spent outdoors.

Secret smile

Nobody knows it but you’ve got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you’ve got a secret smile
And you use it only for me

So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
I’m losing, I’m bluesing
But you can save me from madness

beer-bubbles-1-astha-tuladhar

I found a tiny heart made of bubbles at the bottom of my beer glass today, and it made me think of the ‘secret smiles’ that we so often miss when life is busy or ill or sad.  I was chasing Little One as she made a beeline for the kitchen at Wagamama, but suddenly she was distracted and we found ourselves in a peaceful courtyard filled with white blossom.  Another secret smile in the midst of a fraught moment of parenting.

Now that Little One has more freedom from the buggy she roams and if I let myself get caught up with whatever she’s looking at, it almost always enhances my day.  There are some textured glass sculptures near the Cathedral and today she loved exploring them with her hands and was murmuring ‘shell’ to herself.  To us weary ones it can be just street furniture, just another distraction on the way to the carpark but how wonderful to stop and feel the green-blue ‘shell’ in the city centre.

I’m hoping I can create the space to keep learning from my kids, and to let them continue to help me appreciate how we can look for beauty even in the more challenging times of our lives.

Brunch – a found poem

a ‘found poem’ is made up of fragments of text seen during a visit to a city or place. A found poem is a beautiful way of practising up skills of intuition, play, ordering and life-revelation, abilities we all need as we come to explore new ways of being (Lent adventure 2015 day 19 by evolute)

eating should be a simple pleasure,
here to make you smile.
to minimise fading effects
breakfast served until 12 noon

poached free range eggs,
tomatoes, hummus,
mushrooms & guacamole
sweet chilli sauce, basil and toast

treat her to a little luxury –
rain doesn’t stop play