One of the three

trinity

You were one, one of the three
One in three must find some peace
You were one, one of the three
I need proof before belief
Oh, well, you just knew they’d come for you
So it was suicide, suicide
Oh, well, now you got just what you want
I hope you’re satisfied

One of the three

You were one, one of the three
One in three must find some peace
You were one, one of the three
I need proof before belief
Oh, well, I guess you’re not to blame for what they’ve
Done in your name, in your name
Oh, well, it’s a shame you got so famous for a sacrifice

One of the three

James, 1993

I’ve been pondering my faith again this Christmas time.  There was sadness and anger in Eldest’s face today in the pews.  We went to church for the first time in a long while.  For me today, there was peace in the liturgy.  Much more than I find in guitars and drums, worship that tends to focus on personal happiness as a natural consequence of faith.

It’s pretty hard for Eldest not to question God’s goodness, even existence.  She’s watched me cry out for mercy, wracked with pain in the midst of depression.  Five episodes in her twelve years as my daughter.  She’s learning that so many of her friends are hurting, with complicated lives and broken relationships. She’s living in a word rife with Islamophobia, political polarization and economic insecurity.

For me, it’s more nuanced.  I’ve definitely spent some years being angry and disillusioned – with both God and the church.  Yet there’s still something that draws me back to the fragile hope I feel when I think about God in human form.

The James song hits me right where it hurts at the moment –  I guess you’re not to blame for what they’ve done in your name.  The rhetoric of the Trump administration’s brand of evangelical ‘Christianity’ sickens me to my stomach.  The idea of a monopoly on Truth, the willingness of voters to ignore misogyny, racism and open hatred because of a stance on homosexuality or abortion.

But you see, that’s where the person of Jesus draws me again.  He was a fierce critic of the religious leaders of the time, who were more concerned that he’d broken a scriptural rule of healing on the Sabbath than they were about the brokenness of the people he sought to heal.

When I looked for an image of the Trinity from the film “The Shack”, the most frequent links were angry articles decrying its ‘heresy’.  For daring to portray God as a woman.  For daring to hope that God wants to see everyone healed of emotional pain and brought back into a relationship with the parent, son and Spirit.  For implying that maybe each person of the Trinity suffered on the cross.

Why are some Christians so scared of the idea of a God who is good and fair beyond our understanding?  Of a God who defies definition in human terms?  Of a God who transcends gender, despite the ineptitude of our pronouns to describe that?  Of a God who is love therefore whose very existence is relationship.

Why reduce the mystery of Jesus, fully God and fully human, to a simplistic ‘they’re going to hell and we’re going to heaven’ dichotomy?

I want to say to my friends and readers in the USA, and evangelical churchgoers here in the UK; I know Christianity isn’t as one-dimensional as this for many of you.  I know that we may differ on human issues but I hope we stand united in a belief in the goodness of Jesus – the angels declared his birth to be Good News for all humanity.  I can’t really say it better than Rachel Held Evans so I’ll leave you with her brave and beautiful blog.

 

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