brain hurts

Little One is struggling.

Her ‘no’ is louder, more insistent – the frustration palpable when we can’t accommodate the refusal.  When it’s getting dressed for school.  When it’s time to go to bed and we can hear the exhaustion pouring out in her tears and protests.

Her body is stronger, like a bowstring tightened in anticipation of conflict.  We tighten in response – doing our best to placate and soothe, to make it clear what’s happening next, to avoid friction.  But all the while steeling ourselves, wondering how we’ll handle it the next time.  Questioning ourselves.  Feeling weary and tense.

School is boring.  School ‘makes my brain hurt’.  Maybe the world feels like a set of unattainable expectations at the moment.  I don’t know…

I’m not going to ask myself for solutions today.  I’m just going to feel.  I feel sad, a bit tired, and a bit lost for ideas.

As parents we are sometimes caught up in the struggle, sometimes able to see our way through it.  Little One had to go out with Dad and her Beaver Scout troop to join the Remembrance Day parade today.  It’s cold out there, late in the day, and I understand why staying at home seemed a far better option. For the rest of the day, Jaffa Cakes and TV on the sofa with warm blankets will probably get us all through.


2 thoughts on “Struggle

  1. You write beautifully about the small, giant, every day difficulties our children have to negotiate (or not). I love the way you decide simply to feel, rather than seek solutions. And I hope you and your daughter enjoyed the warm blankets and jaffa cakes!

    Liked by 1 person

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