An inauspicious Thursday evening
There was something about that pizza right from the start. It surprised me with its beauty, all hand-stretched bubbles and micro-mushrooms. No tomato – just the fragrance of truffle oil and a scattering of rocket.
As we talked over that half a pizza, I told you about my fears for the future and my deep loneliness. My feeling of my career having been stolen from me by mental illness. My plans to volunteer with a mental health trust, my worries of never finding that thing, that elusive vocation which would satisfy me and make me feel whole again.
My beautiful friend, you turned it on its head. Wonderful and unfamiliar like my tomato-less pizza. You wondered if I could spend a year on enjoyment, on pleasure, on finding out about me again. Beauty rather than darkness. Could I take a gap year from obligation to any previous map of what my life should look like if I hadn’t been ill?
Somehow that half a pizza persuaded me that I really, really wanted to try.
goodgirlgapyear 
Goodness that would be amazing if you can. I certainly relate to you in a lot of ways. I am in nowhere land, struggling with my head, wanting so much more. I’m still stuck but I hope you will take the leap and that you can redefine you once more. Hoping I have understood your words clearly that is.
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Thank you for understanding this post very clearly. Yes I’m longing to redefine life beyond illness and I am excited to hear more about your journey too
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Lets both ENJOY our respective rides then toast3d! Warmest wishes truly meant.
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